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Welcoming the Child Mark 9:30 – 37; Psalm 1 Christopher Webb is getting married. Many of you have met my son — as he and Jessica have been in our midst several times in the past two years. As I listen to them plan the small, personal solemnizing of their vows it has brought to mind the many weddings of which I have been privileged to take part — none the least of which was my own which occurred almost 35 years ago. Some parts of that wedding remain unfortunately vivid. It was not the best day of my life. Before the wedding I greeted 6 members of my immediate family — brothers, parents, sister-in-law and an aunt. We went out to lunch and what I thought could have been a nice family event before an early evening wedding turned out not to be the case. At the same time, my soon-to-be husband was having lunch with his immediate family elsewhere. During the lunch I attended, there was NO talk about wedding; there was no attention on me as soon-to-be-bride. There were not even questions about where we were going to live and serve in ministry. The entire luncheon conversation was heated discussion about getting the flat tire of one brother’s car fixed, and then arguing about why my brother had that kind of car anyway. In retrospect I realized that this was not new to my family; my father and brothers spent a great deal of time arguing, while my mother would seethe and I would merely ‘check-out’ mentally and emotionally. But this was my wedding day! This was the day they had gathered BECAUSE of me. I was supposed to be the princess that day! I know they cared about me. They all love me. I lived through it, and it certainly was not the reason my marriage eventually broke apart. It made me quite sensitive, however, to how we carry our own agendas wherever we go, and how we often are not able to involve ourselves in the moment of what is the very most important. It doesn’t just happen at weddings — although there is a great deal of acting out at such events. Funerals and memorial services offer the same opportunity — families get together and forget why they have gathered and start amazingly destructive conversations and arguments. It happens even at the deathbeds of dear souls — when people miss the opportunity to reflect on and with someone in their last hours or days and instead bicker about something in the past or some fear of the future. Jesus had that going on. While he was traveling, he was teaching his disciples: teaching them some tough stuff; telling them that he was going to be betrayed; revealing that he was going to die. Our Gospel writer does not indicate that the disciples weren’t caring about what Jesus was telling them. He writes ‘they didn’t understand what he was saying …and they were afraid to ask questions.’ But actually, they had an over-riding agenda on their minds. They were intent on arguing about the power among their group. Who was better than the other? Who was going to be in charge of the group? Whose ideas and opinions were going to take control? And so Jesus said — what were you arguing about? — as if he didn’t know. How amazingly embarrassed they must have been! And how amazingly embarrassed we should be when we realize what we bicker about, what we argue over, what driving agendas are consuming our energy. If we could only hear — because Jesus is asking the same question of us — WHAT are you arguing about?! The silence of the disciples allowed Jesus the opportunity to gently teach them about servant-hood. We know — or at least we sing about — how Jesus loves children. His attitude and response to children was one of the counter-cultural, counter-religious cultural aspects of his way. Women had a certain place in the religious culture and children had a specific place in that culture. Power and intellectual respect were not accorded to either, and so their places were distinctive but separate from the men of the community. Picking up a child and placing that child in the midst of the men who were talking and being taught was as inappropriate as speaking to a woman (especially a harlot) at a well or allowing a woman to touch the hem of one’s robe. Just the act of picking up the child and holding that child in his arms, was crossing lines that would have aroused the attention of his disciples. But then he had the audacity to instruct his disciples that they were to WELCOME a child into THEIR midst and in doing so would be welcoming him. Even today — when we have come a long way in breaking lines of children and women being incorporated into the life and power of a community — what would it mean to welcome a child in the name of Jesus Christ? Children are inconvenient. Before we can educate, train, acculturate them, children are demanding, seemingly self-absorbed, impatient, and when they have a need it requires immediate attention. To welcome a child does not mean to acknowledge a child. It does not even mean to pay attention to that child. To welcome a child means far more than teaching, training or trying to control a child. To welcome a child, one must accept and be open to the fullness of demand that child places on one’s life now — not when it would be convenient, not when there is a break, not when one can program the child into a schedule, not when the plans allow, but now! Parents know this, and it is why parenting is absolutely the most important and most consuming endeavor of life. It takes everything one has to welcome a child into life. When we choose to be parents, we choose to be servants. Over time, of course, the depth and consuming nature of parent servanthood changes, and most children grow out of their incessant demanding and neediness. Jesus wasn’t just talking about parenting, however. He was talking about our need to learn how to be so very focused on the neediness of others that we become servants and, thus, welcome, opening our arms and lives to those who present themselves to us. Children exemplify the neediness of all. If we are listening, they force us to pay attention to them. Welcoming them means we have to forget our own agendas! Allowing ourselves to be open to their needs, we truly will not have the time to deal with all the positioning and power-mongering games that we can easily play. Focusing on the children in our midst will mean we are not focusing on ourselves. If and when we remember to welcome the children in our midst, we open ourselves to Jesus Christ himself. When we listen and hear the aches and hurts of the children near us, we become servants of God tending what is far more important than any other activity in life and any other intellectual discussion in which we are involved. Because when we stop to care for, love, welcome the children around us, we open ourselves to the activity of God that is the foundation of life itself. Consider your greatest achievement in life for a moment. Was it the landing of a professional appointment? Was it being elected president of a charitable organization? Was it writing a published paper or book or an incredible speech. All of those – and many more – are worthy of praise and should bring satisfaction. But Jesus teaches us that listening to the heart of a child, caring for the needs of that demanding soul, believing in that little one so much that you allow your full attention to her, welcoming him as the central focus of your life is the way that we will know how to set aside our own concerns and agendas and receive the essence of God within our lives. The disciples that Jesus needs have to be focused on him and not on their own agendas. They have to know how to be welcoming, loving, open to the demands that are placed right in front of them. May we receive, welcome and be fully attuned to the children in our midst; knowing that when we do — IF we do — we become servants. We become servants that Jesus Christ can use for the work that this world needs. We become servants who will care for the aches of God’s world. Servants who will proclaim God’s love to the ends of the earth. SW |
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