union avenue christian church |
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Living From the Heart Jeremiah 31:31 – 34; John 12:20 – 33 Fred Cradock — Disciples’ well-known and beloved preacher — tells the story of time when he was in graduate school. He had left his wife and children in the little parish he was serving and had moved into a room in the school in order to prepare for the horrific comprehensive exams. Studying all day and well into the night his rhythm included going to an all night diner and having a grilled cheese sandwich and a cup of coffee just to get a break before holing up again with the books and study. “It was the same every night; the fellow behind the counter at the grill knew when I walked in to prepare a grilled cheese and a cup of coffee. He’d give me a refill, sometimes come again and give me another refill. I joined the men of the night sitting there hovering over coffee, still thinking on the New Testament oral exams. “Then I noticed a man who was there when I went in, but had not been waited on. I had been waited on, had a refill, and so had the others. Finally the man behind the counter said to the old, gray haired black man ‘what do you want?’ Whatever the man said, the fellow went to the grill scooped up a little dark patty off the back of the grill and put it on a piece of bread with no condiment and without a napkin, and handed it to the man. The man gave him some money and went out the side door by the garbage can and out onto the street. He sat on the curb with the eighteen-wheelers of the night with the salt and pepper from the street to season his sandwich. “I didn’t say anything. I did not reprimand, protest, or witness to the cook. I did not go out and sit beside the man on the curb. I didn’t do anything. I was thinking about the questions coming up on the New Testament. And I left the little place, went up the hill back to my room to resume my studies and off in the distance I heard the cockcrow.” (F. B. Craddock, Craddock Stories, M.Graves and R. F. Ward, eds., St. Louis: Chalice Press, 2001, pp. 48-49) And God said: I will write it in their hearts, and I will be their God and they shall be my people. When that happens, the words, the promises, the claims, the hopes, the studies will not be separated from the action. Who we claim to be will be integrated with who we truly are. No longer will we have need to teach each other. No longer will we have need to explain ourselves to each other. No longer will we have need to identify ourselves. We will be known. We will be transparent. God will be seeping out of our very heart because God will be filling us, directing us, living within us. Jeremiah’s vision for the people of his time was certainly a hopeful one. He made this powerful announcement of how lives would be changed. The new covenant of which he spoke would not be like the old one in which people had to learn the rules and the laws and try to adhere to them. The new covenant would enfold them and live within them so much so that they would not have to think or second guess or pretend to do. Everything that was right and good and pure and just would be the norm and the habit. With this new covenant people will act as if they are owned by God. Heavenly hopes? Yes, but we DO claim that we are people of the New Covenant. Fred Craddock’s story about his intense studying of the New Testament and not translating into living the Gospel is the reality keeping us from being new covenant people — being people totally owned by God. It is not God’s part that is lacking, but our own reluctance to live what we believe and be led by what we feel — trusting that God’s ownership and control will take us to the place of fullest life. What if Craddock had gone to the curb to sit with the man? What if he had given his sandwich and his coffee to the man? What if he had spoken out to the waiter? What if we energized that city around justice and discrimination? What would have the loss or the gain have been? The loss would have been his own goals in studying, his own aims in time to accrue knowledge, perhaps embarrassment in front of his peers, perhaps ire from the restaurant cook and other patrons and upstanding members of the community. The loss would have been his own life, his own control, his own vulnerability. And the gain? The gain would have been as Jesus said: ‘Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain, but if it dies, it bears much fruit.’ The gain would have been the fruit of God’s desire. Perhaps we do not have such poignant reminders as Fred Craddock of loving our lives so much that we lose them. Or perhaps we fail to consider how each day we do make those choices. Let’s look at some:
All of this is done in order to believe I have some control of my life; all of this is to set boundaries on my vulnerability. Much of it prevents me from opportunities where I might be led, where I might be challenged, where I might not understand what is expected of me. Much of it keeps me from being totally owned and used by God. Please do not hear me say that all planning is inappropriate. Please do not hear me say that all disciplines of time are irrelevant. But the excessive hold on one’s time easily moves us to the belief that we are in charge of our lives, and WE are able to determine when we will have an encounter with God.
It is tough to decide to be that vulnerable. Every relationship has the possibility of turning sour. Every open heart has the potential for pain. Why would we choose that pain? Why would we be open to such sorrow? Because losing our life and being willing to risk our lives for others is also risking our lives for an encounter with God. And when we cannot do it with each other we probably are not doing it with God.
Set the standard so we can figure out how to meet it! Unfortunately, Jesus wants more — always wants more. No, there is no set number of service times, of dollars, of committee commitments — not even casseroles. When the new covenant takes hold — when God owns our very being and when God is pumping our heart — there will never be enough we can do or bring. There will never be enough ways we can serve, love, give up because we will no longer see any boundaries to the grace that is filling us. Our lives will not be our own in those days and so it will no longer matter how much we do. We will want to do more, and we will have the energy and power to do more. Living under the new Covenant is living by ‘heart.’ It is giving ourselves away, trusting that we will be led. Our hearts, our souls, our lives will be owned by the one who will never hurt us and never let us go. As we move into these last precious days of the season of Lent, may we be ready to allow the control we think is so very necessary in our lives to be buried so that new life — the fruitfulness of God — will come to life. SW |
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