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Acknowledging Fault Numbers 21:4 – 9; John 3:14 – 21 The darkest time of my adult life was living through divorce. Considering other frightening and despairing times — death of both parents, death of very dear friends, a son leaving the nest and going to college, living in New York City through the fall of 2001 — none compare with the depth of pain I seemed to suffer going through divorce. It may be because the divorce came before all the other events. It may be because it was a surprise to me — although several of the other devastations were surprising events. It may be because it was so abnormal to my life, but we know that even 20 years ago divorce was not an abnormality in American society. I believe the reason that the experience was so devastating related to my personal humiliation, my personal rejection from someone to whom I had given my life, my personal failure at not being able to win in a competition with the other woman in my husband’s life, and also personal embarrassment about ministers breaking the covenant of marriage vows. It was all pretty personal — all about me. My precocious (or perhaps fed up) 7-year-old son helped to stop the pity party that engulfed us. He said to me one evening: “Mom, if you are going to keep crying, go to your room!” Even though he and I struggled through the ensuing years with “I am the Mom and you are child”; in that moment he was right and he wisely called a halt to what I had allowed to consume me — and him. Misery loves company. A trite but very true statement. When I hurt, I want everybody to feel sorry for me. When I am grumbling, I want everyone to grumble with me. When I am angry, I want everyone to be angry. Never when I am hurt, grumbling or angry do I want friends to move me out of that misery — I want them groveling down there with me. Sound familiar? It is a vicious but real misfortune of life. Despair, darkness of mood, devastation gets way too comfortable and the natural tendency is to pull others into it rather than working to get out. Moses had led the Israelites around the desert for quite a while. They had run out of food and didn’t like the miraculous manna that God was providing on a daily basis. They didn’t have enough water. Their grumbling was contagious. Besides blaming God, they were also blaming Moses. And if the food and weariness were not enough to grumble about, they walked into a pit of snakes. In their frame of mind they perceived that the snakes were sent by God to wake them up to their immense ‘pity party.’ I will go on record as telling you I do not believe God sends snakes, or pandemic disease, or natural disasters of any sort; nor do I believe that God decides which day someone will die, or be hurt, or turn around toward the light. But peoples of all times have claimed signs — good and bad — as markers, indicators, omens of when they realized and acknowledged the time when a new direction had to come. For me — 20 years ago spiraling down in misery — it was realizing I was inflicting more pain on my son than he deserved. For the Israelites — grumbling about all of life itself — it was realizing their distaste for manna didn’t compare with the pain of snakebites. But that is not the end of their story. Moses heard God suggesting to him that this snake experience could be used to help the Israelites deal with their continuing afflictions. There are lots of spins we could take on this story — looking at why the snake/serpent is the symbol here as well as with Adam and Eve; how much influence the snake on a staff symbol of ancient Greek God of Healing intersects here; or the symbol of the Sumerian God of Healing i.e., two snakes on a staff with the wings above, which the American Medical Association uses as their symbol — but let’s think more about the idea of people looking and moving toward the symbol of their pain. Moving toward our pain — reflecting about the anguish of our lives — conscientiously sorting through whatever is whirling us around in doom and gloom is the beginning of the process of new life, growth, light and opportunity. That is not just sound psychology; that is good theology. Before we get out of the mess we might be in we must look carefully at all the factors leading up to it and confess our responsibility. As long as we choose not to acknowledge any responsibility, we can stay in the mire of despair, anger, and anxiety and continue to look for comrades that will join us in our grumbling. But God does not want us to be there. Just as God didn’t send those snakes to the Israelites — although they certainly were used for good purpose as it turned out — and God does not send any of the travesties we have experienced in this life, God would do nothing to keep us in the dark, condemning places of existence. God chooses life for us. And as Christians, we celebrate that God gave us Jesus Christ who not only lived everything we live and suffered more than we did but showed us the way for our lives to have meaning and purpose and to be lived in the light for which they were intended. Jesus' life and ministry showed us the example of how:
That’s what God intends for our lives! Our Gospel writer, John, connects Moses’ lifting of the serpent to the lifting of Jesus. It seems that in John’s mind, this is an allusion to Jesus’ death on the cross. What is it about looking at the cross of Jesus Christ that relates to the Israelites looking at the staff with the serpent? They were looking at that symbol to remember how unfaithful they had been, how their grumbling had been disadvantageous, and to acknowledge their own guilt in their desperate lives. Can we look at the cross of Jesus Christ for the very same reasons? Are we able to use this symbol as a reflection of the responsibility we have for our own pathos? When we look at the cross of Jesus Christ are we able to claim how we have not lived up to the ways in which God has hoped and longed for our lives? When we gaze on the cross of Jesus Christ are we able to acknowledge our own participation in a world that continues to abuse so many children, that turns a deaf ear to the needs of masses, and shows a cold heart to the most vulnerable? Can we look at the cross of Jesus Christ and know and claim our own part in his death because of our own faithlessness and waywardness in living up to God’s intentions? Because when we can do all of that the cross of Jesus Christ can then become a healing symbol. It will be the entry point of light for our lives. It will be the beginning of proclamation and witness. It will be the emblem for what is possible when we turn our lives to God’s grace and God’s love and God’s power. May we lift high the cross of Jesus Christ for the power of healing it will bring and the power of faithfulness it will challenge. SW |
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